Accident
by Toph Hitsugaya
Summary: Matsumoto kept crying and apologising, saying it was an accident. But to Gin, it was the most beautiful miracle in the world. Chapter 4 now up
1. Chapter 1

**Accident**

**Summary: Matsumoto kept crying and apologising, saying it was an accident. But to Gin, it was the most beautiful miracle in the world. **

**Hi. I got this idea when my friend knocked all my recently borrowed Bleach books of my desk and kept saying "Sorry, sorry, it was an accident" I kept saying "no its fine. It's ok" and bam! This idea hit me. Maybe cause Gin was on the cover. **

**I'm not neglecting And it was all Matsumoto's fault though no one really cares do the?**

**Disclaimer: Bleach is Tite's Kubo's. However, this story idea is mine so no stealing please. **

Rangiku wasn't in the shack when he came home. Nor was she out the back in the old cherry blossom (or sakura) tree. She didn't turn up that night and she wasn't there in the morning when he woke. Needless to say, Gin was very worried. Very worried indeed.

He considered finding some shinigami and asking them to search for Ran's spiritual pressure but they wouldn't know what it felt like. He couldn't search for the pressure either. All Gin could do was sense spiritual pressure and only if it were very near. Rangiku's pressure was no where in his senses.

So Gin waited for her

He waited for a month

He waited for 3 months

He waited for 5 months

He waited for 9 months

And the she was there

Gin ran up to hug her, to tell her how much he'd missed her when he noticed the tears running down her cheeks freezing in the December air. She held a bundle very carefully but also like she wasn't really aware that she was holding it.

"What's that Ran?" Gin asked.

Matsumoto just stared. Gin bet that if she wasn't holding the bundle, her hands would have been hanging lifelessly at her sides.

And then the bundle moved and started to cry? It was crying. The bundle was crying. It was a baby! Matsumoto was holding a baby.

"Who's" Gin whispered.

"Mine" Rangiku whispered back. "Ours"

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

They sat in the shack, Gin cradling the baby whilst Matsumoto kept crying and apologizing, saying it was an accident. But to Gin, it was the most beautiful miracle in the world.

Said miracle already had a flop of spiky, yet soft white hair. It had beautiful turquoise eyes that blinked back at Gin, understanding already visile there. It had unnaturally pale skin that seemed to suit it. It was a miracle right there in Gin's hands. And it was his. His and Ran's.

"I don't want to keep him" Rangiku suddenly spoke up.

Gin snapped his head around to face her, the baby protesting as he did so.

"What do you mean?" he asked, yet he new what she meant. He just didn't wan it to register. He didn't want it to happen.

"I can't keep it. I can't handle it. I won't handle it"

And then Rangiku was crying and the baby was crying and Gin was just sitting there, hoping that she was lying.

_Please be lying…_

"Ran don't" Gin whispered 'Don't give up on our son. Don't give him up"

"I never wanted him" Matsumoto spat, her sobs stopping for a moment before starting up again.

Gin flinched as though the harsh words had made contact with his skin, buried themselves into him and travelled to his heart.

"I want him" Gin whispered, his voice oddly humour free. "He's a miracle. Our miracle"

"Then make him _your _miracle" Matsumoto whispered.

Gin got up. He would leave Matsumoto everything. He would go t his mum. He would leave all for the sake of the miracle in his hands.

"I hope one day Ran, that you can see him as the miracle he is" Gin whispered. 'I hope you can smile at him and love him no mater how he sees you"

"Gin what?" Rangiku looked up. 'Why does it sound like your saying goodbye?"

"I can't leave him alone wit no parent to care for him. I won't"

I was breaking Gin's heart t lave the woman he loved but he wouldn't let his son suffer. He couldn't let his son suffer.

"Gin no" Matsumoto whispered. They were doing a lot of that today. "Please Gin NO!"

"Sorry Ran" Gin left and the pair of shoes that sat at the door became one.

**8899-0088-8800-0088**

Gin knew he couldn't stay with his other for long. Aizen was becoming impatient, wanting to know where he spent his spare time curious to know his outside life. But one look at his little miracle toddling around, white hair sticking up, turquoise eyes sparkling was enough to destroy Gin's built up walls.

"I can care for him if you have to leave" His mum had said with a sly look as if she had known what was going on.

"Yeah I know" Gin had muttered, looking over at his son who was playing with a wooden sword. Gin had made it. He didn't want his miracle playing with Shinso.

It hurt to look over at his precious son and realise that soon he would have to g. It hurt more then leaving Ran, then having to kill people. It hurt like death was holding onto him, reluctant t let go.

"Dada" His son came running over. Already 2, already running, no sign of stumbling. Where was time going? How soon would the time come to go?

"Yeah?" Gin asked, not having the force a smile despite his thoughts. His miracle always brought a smile to his face.

"Look dada" Hi son held up his hands. "Red flame canon"

Gin just smiled. His son was a prodigy, no doubt and as a small flame appeared in his hands Gin knew. He knew it was time to go. Aizen would not touch his son. He had to make sure of it.

"Hey my little miracle" Gin called. His son looked up, a smile lighting his face that Gin would not see for a long time.

"Yeah dada?" His son asked.

"I'm gonna be gone for a while. Will you look after Granny for me?"

"Gone?" His son echoed, face twisting into a frown as he tried to work out what that word meant, what his father was saying.

By the time he worked it out, Gin was at the gate, nearly gone.

"Wait dada wait!" His miracle yelled as Gin opened the gate. "Don't go!"

Gin held back his tears. His son knew he wouldn't be coming back.

_I'm not Gin Hitsugaya anymore, I'm Gin Ichimaru _

"Wait dadeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"Bye Toshiro…

**8800-0088-8800-0088-**

"But I rather like seeing ice at this time of year" Aizen finished.

Gin ignored him. His son, his precious son was on the ground dying.

_TOSHIRO!_

"But I wonder Gin, why are you looking at him like that?"

_His blood, it's everywhere, why?_

"Is that fear on your face?"

_No, no, no, no, no_

"Gin are you listening?"

_TOSHIRO NO!_

"I thought I might find you here Captain Aizen"

_Unohana! She can save him. Save my son please_

Gin looked over at his son who was unable to move and the his face moved

_Toshiro?_

His precious son, his miracle smiled and whispered soft words

"I forgive you"

_Toshiro you can't, you shouldn't, YOU CAN'T_

Toshiro's eyes closed and his face went slack

_UNOHANA PLEASE SAVE HIM!_

The were going, he was being torn from Toshiro

"I must do all I can to save the lives…..

_Thank you, thank you_

"Gin are you listening?"

_My son, my miracle, will he live?_

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

"Kill her Gin" Aizen held up Rukia's body and for a second it swam, transformed into a white haired, bad tempered prodigy who was also a miracle. His miracle.

_TOSHIRO!_

"Shoot to kill Shinso" Gin couldn't believe he was saying these words. Why was he saying them?

And then they were surrounded, Matsumoto behind him, sword at neck.

"Where is Toshiro, what happened?"

"Unohana is there. She's going to save him"

"Gin you baka. You complete and utter teme"

_TOSHIRO MY SON!_

"Do you still think he's an accident?"

_A pause, why did she pause?_

"No"

"I'm Sorry"

"GIN!"

_Bye Toshiro…._

**So what do you think? Please review, please, please, please. Then I'll know if my story is bad or not. **


	2. The Truth

**Accident part 2: The truth**

**Ok so here's the funny thing. This was meant to be a oneshot but when I was publishing it, my cousin and sis were bugging me to go to the park and I forgot to click complete. I was gonna fix my mistake but I was given some great ideas for another chapter and I really want to write more so here we go. **

**Happy Birthday sis! (Not her birthday today but it was when I started this fic) **

**And thanks aka-nee, Kaihaku No Iroke and forever122 for being the only ones who reviewed, favourited and followed. **

**Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine. Did you read the last chapter? That is so not canon. **

_Italics= Gin's Thoughts_

**MAJOR TIME SKIP!**

The final battle had come and gone quicker then expected considering the intense build up to it. The months of planning, fighting arrancar, making plans. Many were dead, many more injured. And some weren't expected to recover.

_Toshiro…._

Gin sat on a chair, unusually comfortable for a hospital chair and stared down at the figure in the bed. It was too pale, too still, too lifeless to be his son yet it was. It was Toshiro who lay in the bed, alive somehow despite all his injuries. Toshiro who might not make it through the night.

_If you weren't dead Aizen…_

Ichigo was gone, back to the world where he had come from, determined to forget. Gin was pardoned, double agents always were. Tosen was dead. The fourth division was so crowded. Toshiro was dying…

_NO!_

A breath that took too long to come out again

_A shadow of what he used to be…._

"My poor shiro-Chan" Gin whispered. "My poor, poor son"

"Gin" Matsumoto was at the door. "I'll sit with him, you need to rest"

_What if he slips away while I rest?_

"No" Gin croaked. "I want to stay

'_I forgive you…..'_

"Why?" Gin muttered. "Why did you Shiro-Chan?"

_I can't look away…._

"Then I'll sit with you" Matsumoto sat as she said this.

_Why? You said you hated me_

"You've forgiven me?"

"No but I can't leave Toshiro. What if he slips away? I can't look away from him"

_She understands…_

"I didn't want this to happen" Gin muttered but his former lover heard.

"But it did" she said, a bit too harshly for Gin's liking.

_And it shouldn't have…._

"I'm just going to keep waiting" Gin decided.

"Really?"

_For him, anything….._

**MORE TIME SKIPPING!**

A year…

2 years…..

3 years…

4 years…..

5 years…

_Please wake up….. Wake up Toshiro…._

"So you're still waiting Gin?" Unohana spoke.

_I won't leave him this time…_

"Yeah" Gin sighed. "He'll wake up soon"

"He's a fighter. He is your son after all"

_I don't deserve to be his dad…._

"It's not me who's strong. I didn't have the guts to stand up to Aizen"

"You did it in the end"

_But it was too late….._

"Hmm"

"Did you hear that?" Gin looked at the bed, at his pale, limp son who had just moaned.

"Yes" Unohana said carefully.

"He might be waking up"

_Please be waking up….._

"Maybe Gin but I doubt it"

Gin kept his eyes fixed on the pale lids that hid the turquoise gems.

_Please open…_

The snowy locks on the boys head moved along with his head, turning over to the side. A slow sigh escaped the boy's lips.

_Come on wake up…._

The lids seem to pull themselves closed tighter and then they relaxed and opened. Beautiful turquoise eyes shone upwards at Gin. Eyes he hadn't seen for so long.

_Thank you. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you….._

"Gin" The boy croaked. "Where am I? I can't move" His words were slurred. Hard to make out but to Gin it didn't matter.

_My little miracle…_

"You're in the fourth division. You've been here since the final battle"

Toshiro's lips twitched into what might be called a smile. "So we won?"

"Yeah Shiro-Chan. We won" Gin smiled.

"Matsumoto?" Toshiro said weakly.

"She's fine"

_I was so worried Shiro-Chan…_

"Momo?"

"She's fine"

_But you should be worried about you….._

"Kurosaki?'

"Gone back to where he came from"

"Oh" Toshiro's head lolled sideways, his eyes struggling to stay open.

"Sleep Shiro-Chan" Gin told the tired boy.

"Hitsugaya Taicho" he muttered before his eyes closed slowly.

"So when will you tell him" Unohana was at the door?"

"The next time he wakes up" Gin told her.

_I'm never letting you go again Shiro-Chan….._

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

"Taicho!"

"Matsumoto!"

Gin didn't want to get in the way of the happy reunion so he leant against the door frame and watched as Unohana explained to the two about therapy and recuperation. Toshiro took all of this without complaining and Gin had to smile. The 5 years Toshiro had been asleep had changed him.

He hard the delighted cries of the small boy and saw that Matsumoto had brought forth Hyourinmaru and the boy was embracing the sword.

**He certainly has changed **

_Shut up Shinso, he'll be back to normal soon_

**When are you going to tell him? **

_Tonight….._

He looked over to see Toshiro asking how long he had be asleep. Matsumoto turned to Gin flashing a 'what should I tell him' look.

"The truth" Gin stepped forward. "You've been asleep 5 years Toshiro"

"What, no!" Toshiro exclaimed though not loudly as his voice needed time to get used to talking again. "That's not possible"

"It is and I'm sorry" Gin said sadly.

"No I should be sorry. I wasn't there when you needed me. I've put you all through so much pain. I'm useless"

"Now listen here Shiro-Chan. You are many things but useless isn't one of them" Gin said firmly.

"You don't know that" Toshiro's head tilted away.

_I'm going to tell him now…._

**Good luck**

_Thanks Shinso_

**You welcome**

_I was being sarcastic_

**Oh I know**

Gin took a deep breath. This was it. No turning back. There hadn't been any turning back since he'd spotted Matsumoto on the ground.

_How do I say this? How do I undo the damage I've caused?_

"No son of mine is useless!"

_Quiet. Toshiro is silent. Talk dam it. Say something Anything. Don't hate me…_

"I came here. I died on an icy plain!"

"No you didn't. Matsumoto and I are your parents!"

"I'm not listening" Toshiro pressed his hands against his ears. 'No, no, no, NO!"

"Toshiro please!"

"No, I don't want it to be true"

"Why?" Matsumoto asked gently. "Why don't you want us as your parents?"

Gin saw Unohana leave and silently thanked the healer. This was a family discussion.

"Because" Toshiro faltered. "Because" he paused again. "BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU GAVE ME UP!"

**A cliff-hanger of sorts I guess. To all of you who read and enjoy this story and all those who haven't yet, please review, please, please, please!**

**And I just watched Naruto Road to a Ninja and now I am majorly (is that how you spell it?) depressed. I stated crying and I couldn't stop. Why? I am such an emotional person but usually only with fictional characters. **


	3. Understanding

**Accident Part 3 Understanding**

**Ok here we go. This is the next instalment. I'll decide after this chapter if I want this to be a trilogy or longer. And does anyone want me to post my Neji fic? I like it but some people might not.**

**And I jus finished Bleach book 38. Can I say depressed? Ok, good. DEPRESSED!**

**Thank you to all who reviewed, favourited and followed. Especially Forever122. I love you, you always review and you make me so happy. **

**Disclaimer: I am secretly Tite Kubo who is now writing fanfic. LOL I'm just a normal girl who happens to obsess a lot. Like majorly a lot.**

**Bold= Shinso**

_Italis= Gin's thoughts _

Gin stared at the distraught boy, his distraught son who had now pulled his trembling knees up to his chin in an attempt to be smaller. Who was now desperately trying to hold in sobs.

"Toshiro" Matsumoto said softly. "I would never not want you"

Gin let out a harsh and bitter laugh, he couldn't help it.

_Like she can talk, it was her who didn't want him in the first place…._

"What?" Matsumoto glared as Toshiro curled himself into a tighter ball, his boy starting to shake. Oh Lord he had changed. His miracle had changed. He would have never done this before. He always refused to act like a kid, he would act so strong.

_Is that a good thing, him having changed _

"Nothing" Gin said casually. "I was just remembering when you told me that you didn't want him!" Gin yelled the last part, suddenly furious.

"What!?" Toshiro shouted, his head shooting up, the tears that had bee fighting to come drying instantly. "I thought Gin would be the one who didn't want me"

_Ouch…_

**You kinda deserve it**

_Not helping Shinso….._

"No Toshiro, I, uh" Matsumoto's cool and collected appearance vanished like mist on a summer morning.

"Is it true?" Toshiro whispered. "You didn't want me?"

"Honey I-"

"NO!" Toshiro cried. "I don't want to believe it, I'm sick of it. I told myself that if I died and came here, there might be people back home who loved me, people I couldn't remember. I told myself that coming here meant that people didn't want to let me go. I told myself that I wasn't abandoned. It's all I could tell myself growing up here. And now I find out that I wasn't wanted? I HATE YOU ALL!"

"Shiro Chan I've always wanted you. From the moment I first saw you, you were my miracle. But things with Aizen were complicated and I had to leave. Doing so broke my heart and I know I'll never get over it. But I would never forgive myself if I had let Aizen get you"

"I forgave Gin for leaving us, betraying us but you didn't want me" Toshiro's vice cracked. "I knew it all along. Hope is stupid"

"No Toshiro it isn't" Matsumoto tried to tell her son.

"Why should I listen to you!?" Toshiro screamed, flinging his hand out and hitting lamp on the bed side tale. It crashed to the ground and Matsumoto watched it fall, the globe shattering.

"Why?" Toshiro asked softly. "Why, why, why, why?" He started to sob.

"I" Matsumoto stopped as Gin gave her a warning glance and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around his sobbing son.

_How can I show you that I'm sorry?_

"Let me go" Toshiro cried out, struggling to escape Gin's grip.

"I will never let you go ever again Shiro Chan" Gin whispered.

_My miracle…_

**Our miracle**

_Way to ruin a moment Shinso_

**Whatever**

Toshiro went still in Gin's arms and Gin pulled his body away and looked at the boy his hands held up. Tears ran down his cheeks and his eyes were shimmering.

"But" The boy whispered. "But you did before. You hurt Momo and you let me go. You both ended up letting me go"

"I know Taicho and don't you think it didn't kill me. But I wanted a better life for you. I couldn't give you that before" Matsumoto said softly.

At these words, Toshiro pulled away from Gin. "That's what they all say!" He yelled. "That's just some crap sentence for parents to give to their kids when they give them up. No one ever believes it. I won't believe it. Every child wants to grow up knowing their parents! That would be better then leaving them with a stranger. I wanted someone who I could run home and tell my troubles to, not an absent minded girl who was off in her own world and an old lady who had to maintain her image of being a respectable women of the village"

"Toshiro it wasn't a stranger. I left you with my mother" Gin said. "And I didn't leave until you were two, when I realised that I couldn't hide you, couldn't protect you from Aizen any longer"

"Way to lie to the boy" Matsumoto snapped, her eyes fierce.

"No, it's not a lie" Gin cried. "Never, I would never do that to my miracle!"

"Miracle" Toshiro whispered. He looked at Gin, his eyes shinning with hope. "You think I'm a… a miracle?"

"I always have" Gin told the snowy haired boy. "You've always been my miracle"

**Our miracle**

_Shinso shut it….._

"I, I'm not a mistake?"

"Who calls you that?" Gin asked fiercely.

"Well no one" Toshiro muttered. "But no one ever liked me so I assumed that's what I was"

Gin stared.

_A mistake…._

Who let him think that?

"Gin" Toshiro murmured. "Am I really a miracle?"

"Of course" Gin took Toshiro in his arms again. "And no matter what anyone says, you always will be"

Toshiro leant into the embrace before pulling out and glancing around.

"I need to begin physio therapy right away" he said briskly, sounding like his old self. "My division has waited long enough"

"Oh thank you Taicho" Matsumoto cried. "I can't handle filing in for you, I'm just not you"

Toshiro nodded curtly. "I will be glad when I am able to resume work"

_That's the old Toshiro_

**But I think it's more a mask this time instead of his actual personality**

_You mean he might be acting more like a child now_

**I wouldn't be surprised if he did**

Gin came back to reality to Matsumoto asking Toshiro a question.

"Taicho, uh Toshiro, about me being your mother and well leaving you and uh"

"Later" Toshiro said firmly. "We'll talk later. I can't do it right now"

The bed ridden boy shot a glance a Gin, his childish personality showing through his professional mask to smile lightly.

"I'll fetch Unohana Taicho" Matsumoto said and left.

"Gin" Toshiro whispered. "Is that all true? Were you just trying to protect me from Aizen?"

_His eyes, they're so full of hope_

"Of course" Gin said. "I wasn't about t let Aizen harm a single hair on you, my miracle"

"But he did. In the central 46 chamber. You just stood there. You let him hurt me"

"I-"

"Wait!" The voice held the authority of a Taicho which Gin as currently not.

"Toshiro what?"

"I said wait. I understand why you had to. You knew I would live when Unohana appeared. You knew that you had to stop Aizen. I understand. I would have told you t go. Aizen needed to go down. My life wasn't as important. Many more lives were on the line and many more would be dead if you hadn't interfered"

"Some of that's true Shiro Chan but you are the most important thing in the world to me. I stopped Aizen for you, Toshiro. I stopped him from hurting the word so that you wouldn't be harmed. And I know you were but you didn't' die. That was what I wanted. I wanted you to live"

"I" Toshiro sighed. "Thank you for making me feel wanted for the first time in my life. I feel safe"

The prodigy's had tilted to the side and his breath slowed. He looked so peaceful. Gin reached out and brushed the lone strand of hair that always flopped in Toshiro's face away but it fell back. It stubbornly stayed in his vision. Gin laughed softly. So even Toshiro's hair was stubborn.

_My miracle is safe, thank you_

**Who are you thanking?**

_Again with mucking up touching moments!_

**Well sorryyyyyyyyyyy Mr family loving guy**

_Oh shut up_

"Now all you have to do Shiro Chan" Gin whispered. 'Is fix things up with your mother"

Toshiro rolled over in his sleep, wincing as he did so**. **Gin clenched a fist at the wince.His son was still hurt.

"And it won't be easy. For you. For me or for her"

**I know Toshiro is so OOC but he just found out that his mum didn't want him at first. And I am not basing Matsumoto, I like her. She will redeem herself!**

**Now I have decided to write another chapter. PLEASE REVIEW, PLEASE. I really want some more reviews. Please. **

**And sorry that this is so short **


	4. Conclusion (of sorts)

**Accident 4: Conclusion (of sorts) **

**Happy Birthday to Yumichika (I'm not sure if this is getting posted on his birthday. I wanted to write a fic for it but I had no ideas. Sorry Yumi.**

**And Happy Talk like a pirate day! (Please remember that this may not be posted today (the 19****th****) (Oooo I put brackets in brackets)(Ahhhh I did it again)(And again)) **

**Ok so this isn't the end of this fic, the title just happens to be conclusion. It's the conclusion of all Matsumoto's and Toshiro's problems (sort of). **

**Thanks to all who reviewed, favourite and followed (Like Forever122 who is just an amazing reviewer/writer/person/friend). This is my second most popular story. The first is 'And it was all Matsumoto's fault.' You should check it out if you haven't. **

**Bold= Shinso talking**

_Italics= Gin's thoughts _

**Disclaimer: Toshiro would get more page/screen time if I owned Bleach. And we'd see more Stark and Lillinet because their story made me cry. **

Gin watched Toshiro sleep as the sun slowly went down and the world went by in the corridor around him. He watched as the small boy's breathing slowed and his face relaxed into a peaceful sort of smile. And as his son relaxed, so did Gin. He was ok. Toshiro was going to be ok.

_I was so worried…._

**Hey! I was worried too, you need to acknowledge me more, I am a real person here…..Well sort of**

_But I was worried more than you!_

**How do you know that?**

_I just do!_

**Your arguing skills are dismal**

_Oh shut up!_

"Gin," A soft voice –seemingly loud in the white, echoing room- broke the conversation between Gin and Shinso which for which Gin was grateful. He looked up, saw the person he loved enter the room.

He had never stopped loving Rangiku Matsumoto….

"I want to tell you something." She said sadly, her head bowed, hair curtaining her face. "It's about Toshiro. It's about our son and I need you to listen."

Gin just nodded (of course he would listen) glancing back at his son. The boy was on his side, facing Gin. One of his pale hands was drawn into his chest, the fist clutching at the top of his white 4th division clothes. The other cushioned his face, cradling it gently. His white hair flopped almost lazily over his closed eyes and his mouth was turned upwards in a small smile of satisfaction and tranquillity. He was so adorable. Gin had thought that he would never get the chance to see Toshiro sleep like this since he had left Toshiro in order to protect him. Gin tore his gaze away to look back at Matsumoto who by now had found a chair and was sitting in it, bending forward to stare at her son.

"I, I met Aizen when I was pregnant with Toshiro." She said softly, concentrating on her hands as if she was talking to them, not Gin. "He sought me out, said he felt an incredibly strong reiatsu coming from me."

Gin drew in a breath and looked down at the youngest captain ever who was full of such incredible power.

"Toshiro," He breathed.

"I knew it wasn't me and I told him so, saying he must be confused, that m maybe your reiatsu was still clinging to me but he insisted that it was on me, even if it didn't come from _me_."

At that moment, Toshiro murmured, his hands clenching into fists and his body tensing. Gin reached a hand out to brush at Toshiro's hair and he relaxed.

**Mr Magic Hands now huh**

_I'm having a conversation now Shinso and it's not with you!_

**Party pooper**

_When have I ever said no to a party? Heck, this isn't even a party!_

"Um Gin?" Matsumoto once again, interrupted the conversation.

"Sorry Shinso was being a git."

**Hey I resent that. I resent you!**

_I'll get over it_

"Anyway soon I realised that Aizen was talking about my child. I didn't yet realise that he –Toshiro- was a boy but instantly I panicked. Babies with high reiatsu were hard to care for; I would probably be the death of him, I could kill him. I broke down in front of Aizen, sobbing some crap about how was I going to provide for him and he offered to help me, said he would care for the child. I said that I had a husband to help me and that we would manage, I just needed some time. Then he threatened me, told me he wanted the baby an refused." Matsumoto started to sob. Gin scooted over, awkwardly patted her back and glanced back at Toshiro who had sweat beading his forehead and was muttering a bit. But Matsumoto re-starting her conversation again drew his focus away.

"T then he came at me, drew his sword and used a kido, one I haven't been able to identify yet. E everything went black; I had to time to even run. I woke up, not knowing anything. All I had was this subconscious message in my head that I didn't want my child, that I wanted to give him. I guess Aizen planned for us to abandon Toshiro and he would swoop in and take him away, raise him as his own. But you stopped that plan by keeping Toshiro. I-"

"Hang on" Gin interrupted. "If he took your memory, how do you know all this, how do you remember?"

"I don't know." Matsumoto muttered, still staring at her hands. The she suddenly looked up, eyes full of fierce determination which didn't match her tone of voice. "I know it sounds like I'm making excuses but I honestly don't know." Her voice was full of desperation, of fear and confusion. 'Maybe he broke the kido, maybe the spell wears off over time. Whatever happened, I don't know but-"

"Hey, hey, hey it's ok, I believe you." Gin said; his voice unnaturally soft and kind. "I always had this uh feeling that you didn't really want to give him up."

"Oh thank goodness you understand. Oh thank you so much." Matsumoto smiled shakily at him, far away from her usual blooming smile but she was smiling at him again. "I remember when I was telling you I didn't want him and even I couldn't believe I was saying it."

**Neither could I**

_You didn't even exist then Shinso_

**I so did….. Just subconsciously **

_Now who's arguing skills are dismal_

**Ouch oh wait that didn't hurt because you suck at comebacks! **

"Uh Gin are you arguing with Shinso again?" Matsumoto _once again _broke into the conversation, this time her face alight with humour and relief.

"Yep," Gin said cheerfully. "Because the git brained sword thinks he can argue better than me."

Matsumoto laughed but then froze when a small voice cried out stop.

In one smooth, synchronized movement, Gin and Matsumoto were looking down at their son who seemed to be having a nightmare.

_Toshiro who had sweat beading his forehead and was muttering a bit_

_Ah crap! And Shinso don't even think about replying_

**Sheesh I wasn't going to**

_Yes you were_

**Ok maybe a little**

"No" Toshiro muttered, his head tilting to the side, his hands reaching up to curl around the sheets.

"O oh," Matsumoto said. "I haven't seen him have a nightmare in ages."

"You mean he used to have nightmares?" Gin's head swung to look at her.

"Well yeah." Matsumoto whispered. "Once we –Unohana and I- had to sedate him."

_Flashback_

_Matsumoto jolted out of bed, waking up for apparently no reason at all. But something wasn't right in her son- Taicho's room. She couldn't explain it; she just knew something was wrong. She was up in a flash, dragging her dressing gown on in one smooth movement and running down the corridor to Toshiro's room. She flung the door open; ignoring the crashing sound she made and was greeted with a sickening sight, a sight that would haunt her forever. _

_Toshiro, her son, her Taicho was thrashing around, crying out in-comprehendible words. His body twisted and jerked as he cried, the sheets caught up in his body. His hands flew up to his face to tear at his skin. This broke Matsumoto out of her daze. She ran forward to pull his hands down, away from his bleeding skin and then his foot was flying up into her chest and she was sent backwards, crashing into the door. _

"_Taicho!' She cried. "Taicho stop this, you're hurting youself!"_

"_NO!" Toshiro screamed. "Get away, stop it!"_

_Matsumoto ran forward again and once again, his flailing limbs sent her flying. She sobbed in despair and helplessness, her brain rushing through all the things she could do. _

_**Try to stop him again**_

_**Call for help**_

_**Knock him out**_

_**Unohana…UNOHANA!**_

_Matsumoto was at a draw in the panicking boy's room in a flash, rooting through it until she found a hell butterfly. She cupped it to her mouth and hurriedly spoke her message, begging for help. _

_The she turned her attention back to Toshiro who was now scratching at his arms, crying out for someone to stop, for someone –anyone- to help him. Matsumoto took a step but stopped when a voice spoke._

"_Don't approach him; he is dangerous at the moment. I have already removed Hyourinmaru from the room. You must be very distraught to not realise I came and went." _

"_Unohana!" Matsumoto cried in relief. "Oh God can you help me"_

_Unohana held up a needle, the liquid glowing in the moonlight. "Of course I can, just step back and let me handle this" With the needle ready to go, Unohana approached the traumatized child on the bed who was crying out in mental pain. She lightly dodged a booming kick, dodged a waving arm and leant over Toshiro, the needle aiming for Toshiro's arm._

_As if sensing danger despite being asleep, Toshiro kicked out and Unohana chose this moment, when his arms were relaxed, to gently drive the needle into his arm._

_He screamed. _

_Matsumoto shuddered as he cried out in real pain this time, it wasn't in his head. He thrashed around as Unohana drew back, the needle gone. _

_And soon it was over; Toshiro wasn't thrashing around anymore, he was calm and peacefully sleeping. But the room was a mess, his bed was a mess, Matsumoto's hair, clothes and face was a mess. And she supposed his mind was a mess too. _

_End flashback_

"We have to wake him!" Matsumoto cried as her son began to twist and turn. "Before he goes too far into his dream!"

Gin was on his feet and at Toshiro's side in a second, a hand reaching out to shake Toshiro gently. He didn't want to hurt his miracle. But Toshiro twisted away from Gin, away from the helping hand and lashed out at the wall his bed was up against. Gin winced as the fist made contact with a dull thudding sound.

But Gin was persistent and he knew Matsumoto couldn't bear to see her son like this. So he jumped onto the bed, scooped Toshiro up and held the crying, struggling boy to him. Slowly but surely, Toshiro began to calm. First his struggles slowed and his limbs move to hang at his side. Then his cries died away into whimpers and finally faded away. And then Toshiro opened his eyes, his beautiful turquoise eyes.

And looked into his father's _open _icy ones.

"D dad?" Toshiro croaked hoarsely. "I it wasn't a dream?"

"What wasn't a dream?" Gin asked, his voice naturally falling into the soft tone he spoke to Toshiro with, the only person he ever used this tone with.

_Toshiro you're Ok_

**Thanks for worrying about me**

_What was wrong with you?_

…**.Nothing**

_So shut up!_

"That you came back and that you wanted me." Toshiro said, looking down as if embarrassed.

"Hey Toshi, of course that wasn't a dream." Gin said, still in that soft voice coming up with a nick-name for his son on the spot, one that wasn't as embarrassing as miracle.

"And does that mean the other part was a dream?"

"What other part?"

"A Aizen had me and he was hurting me and you and M Matsumoto." Toshiro was only just holding back his sobs. "He k killed you and h hurt mum- Matsumoto badly. And he made me watch"

"Yes that was just a dream." Gin's soft voice came again.

Toshiro looked down again, seemed to see he was in his father's arms and pulled back, awkwardly falling back onto the bed and blushing.

Toshiro then looked around the room, his gaze falling onto Matsumoto's, his body stiffening and his face struggling not to burst into a smile.

"Mu- Matsumoto." He whispered. "Y you came to see me."

"Of course I did but Listen Toshiro, there's something I need to tell you. It's about when you were born and I said t that I didn't want you. And I need you to listen. Please trust me, you want to hear this."

**Phew where did that come from? Is this my longest chapter? **

**Shinso is there to provide humour. Do I write him well? And see, Matsumoto is actually another person hurt by Aizen the bastard. I would never make Matsumoto mean, I love her too much.**

**A big shout out to my school buddies (And ZakuroU) who all call me Toshi. YOU GUYS ROCK!**

**And yeah, I got this up one day after Yumichika's B-Day and one day before Shikamaru's. Happy birthday to him as I will be too busy tomorrow to update any stories. Stupid swimming and cousin's birthday parties and SOSE homework and science.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'm begging you. Just one word, sentence, paragraph is all it has to be but please review. **


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